The weather is more like spring than winter. The little jonquil and daffodil blooms have already opened here in the North Georgia Mountains. This makes me feel like spring has arrived. Spring makes me miss Mama even more. It was in Spring that she went home to be with our Lord, Jesus Christ.
I dream about Mama. I have been dreaming about her on a regular basis since she died. I want to sit and talk to her. In my dreams the coffee pot is either brewing, or we are just putting on the pot. She is not sick in my dreams. The sad part of my dream is that she and I don't sit down and talk. Isn't that strange? One would think that I would be sitting with her, drinking coffee, laughing, and talking.
Maybe my dreams are really trying to tell me something. Mama and I had unfinished business together.
If your parents are still with you, clear the air of unfinished business before they are gone. I always wanted my mama to be proud of me and my accomplishments, but I don't think she was. I made mistakes in my personal life that haunted my relationship with my mom. The Lord has forgiven me, but I have a hard time forgiving myself. Do you ever feel that way? It is harder to forgive one's self than to forgive others.
It is me again, Lord, thanking you for forgiveness even when I can't forgive myself.
A little Georgia Wisdom: Make sure you tell loved ones how you feel. It's good for the soul.
Linda - beautiful thoughts - I would think your Mother was proud of you even if she couldn't express it to you. Different generations - different parenting skills result in unfinished business sometimes. I think most Mothers and daughters have some unfinished business.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your Mother would want you to forgive yourself and not carry whatever burden you are carrying on her behalf. Perhaps when you forgive yourself, you and your Mother will share that cup of coffee and conversation in your dreams.
When I think of my Mother, I think of a line from an e.e.cummings poem that was her favorite: I carry your heart - I carry it in my heart. I particularly think of that when I hear her words coming out of my mouth!
Hug yourself - for me and your Mom.